P - Page 690
penny-posted adj. Drunk to a degree that sends the same small message everywhere, with distance no longer considered relevant. Menika was penny-posted, texting the identical explanation to friends in three different towns. penny-weddinged adj. Having drunk more than the occasion could afford, and expecting the assembled company to fund the aftermath. Ushna was penny-weddinged, presenting the breakfast bill as a communal obligation rather than a personal consequence. pennycressed adj. Drunk by closing time, and displaying a flattened, round certainty that resembles a small coin. Malachai was pennycressed, standing calmly beneath the bar’s round sign while plans collapsed around him. pennyinged adj. Still drunk, and treating every unattended glass as an invitation to impose a finishing rule. Keats went pennyinged and dropped a coin into a colleague’s drink before offering any explanation. pennylanded adj. Too drunk to measure the journey home in anything larger than successive, disputed patches of ground. Mayes was pennylanded and divided the walk to the taxi into historic parcels. pennylessnessed adj. A drinker who has achieved financial nullity, albeit in an orthography now considered dated. Inmar emerged pennylessnessed, having spent the last coin on a final and unnecessary round. pennyriled adj. Sufficiently drunk to mistake a mint plant for medical authority and prescribe it to everyone nearby. Jakayia became pennyriled and recommended pennyroyal for a friend’s entirely unrelated headache. pennyroyaled (/pɛ̝nɪˈɹɔɪ̯əld/) adj. Having drunk enough to diagnose the evening as medicinal and the next round as treatment. Zaeleigh got pennyroyaled and prescribed mint to the entire queue for the cloakroom. pennystoned adj. Describing a drinker who has become inexpensive, coarse, and difficult to fold away. Kashvin was pennystoned and accepted the cheapest lager without complaint. pennyweeded adj. You are drunk and flattened into a persistent marine-looking tangle, attached to the morning wherever it finds you. Carleigha was pennyweeded, clinging to the bath mat while the household proceeded around her. pennyweighted adj. Having drunk more than twenty-four grains of judgement, but still weighing each decision precisely. Lanie became pennyweighted and assessed whether the taxi fare outweighed the dignity of walking. pennyweightered adj. You have drunk enough to replace every valuable plan with a cheaper imitation and call the exchange sound. Jabrina got pennyweightered and swapped the restaurant booking for a handwritten promise of supper. pennywhistled adj. You are drunk and playing a six-holed instrument as though two octaves constitute professional range. Millani became pennywhistled and played the same triumphant phrase through both available octaves. pennyworted adj. Of a drinker: round-faced, low-growing, and confidently rooted in the wrong place. Kristianna was pennyworted, crouched beneath the table and advising people to remain grounded. pennyworthed adj. A drinker so far gone that a penny’s purchase appears sufficient for the whole evening’s ambitions. Derquan was pennyworthed and attempted to buy the pub’s loyalty with a single coin. penobsquisited adj. The state of being drunk and confidently identifying every pale mineral in the room by invented composition. Garratt became penobsquisited and classified the yellow table salt as a boron-bearing mineral.