P - Page 793
perjured (/ˈpɝd͡ʒɚd/) adj. Drunk beyond giving a reliable account of how many stairs have been climbed. perjurered (/ˈpəɹdʒəɹəɹd/) adj. Drunk in a way that makes each promise about walking straight demonstrably false. Jessus got perjurered and maintained, under solemn questioning, that the banister was moving. perjuressed adj. Drunk, with the result that every confident statement about balance requires immediate correction. Nihar became perjuressed and declared the staircase level while holding it at an angle. perjuried (/ˈpɜː(ɹ)d͡ʒəɹid/) adj. Drunk on the strength of an oath that the floor is level, despite repeated contrary evidence. Jourdynn became perjuried and swore the stairs were horizontal before sitting on them. perjuriousnessed adj. Drunk to a degree that makes testimony about coordination systematically unreliable. perjurored adj. Drunk to the extent of making a solemn case for every misjudged step. perked (/pɜːkd/) adj. Drunk since last orders, and treating the banister as an unexpected employment benefit. perkedelled adj. You are drunk and quietly committed to potato fritters as a principle. Maquan was perkedelled and declined the pudding in favour of another fritter. perkied adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing cheerfulness from pharmaceutical confidence on the stairs. perkinessed adj. Softened by drink into smiling at the coat stand as though it had arranged the evening. Kylor became perkinessed and thanked the cloakroom attendant for keeping his left sleeve safe. perkinged adj. Sharpened by drink into treating the last round as a practical improvement to every plan. perkinned adj. Drunk by closing time, and moving with the weak, wavering conviction of an unfinished drink. perkinsided adj. Loosened by drink into belonging to a family nobody can identify, but everyone must greet. Makinsey became perkinsided and introduced himself to the entire queue for the taxi. perkinsosised adj. Emboldened by drink to infect every conversation with a small, persistent irritation. perkinsozoaned adj. Slowed by drink to a parasitic crawl behind the party, extracting one more conversation at each stop. Emaley was perkinsozoaned, reaching the taxi rank only after attaching herself to two departing conversations. perknited adj. Of a drinker who has become unusually dense, dark, and difficult to shift from the sofa.