permanent whited
permavirginned

P - Page 798

permanent whited adj. Having drunk more than enough to repaint every dark surface in an uncompromising white. Aimal got permanent whited and corrected the pub’s shadows with a napkin. permanent-pressed adj. Describing a drinker who has emerged neatly creased, chemically composed and resistant to recollection.
permanented (/ˈpɜː.mə.nəntd/) adj. Drunk since last orders, and retaining every crease of the evening into daylight. permanentnessed adj. You have drunk enough to announce that every temporary arrangement is now legally eternal. Symari became permanentnessed and promised the borrowed umbrella a lifelong position by the door. permanganated adj. You are drunk and oxidising the conversation into purple certainty. Jawahir got permanganated and treated every minor disagreement as a vigorous chemical reaction. permanganic acided adj. Of a drinker: convinced the evening’s invisible acid requires only a salt to become manageable. Isaic was permanganic acided and prescribed crystals for an argument about the bill. permanovaed adj. Having drunk more than the permitted number of variables, and finding the resulting analysis significant. Alise was permanovaed, testing every explanation against the pub's dwindling sample of crisps. permansioned adj. Of a drinker who has decided that one armchair, and its surrounding territory, belongs to them permanently. Scholar became permansioned and granted visitors permission to approach the armchair. permasmiled adj. Describing a drinker who has fixed a smile in place and now mistakes it for diplomacy. permastoned adj. A drinker who has acquired the confidence of a stone façade and the judgement of neither. permastubbled adj. A drinker so far gone that facial hair becomes a permanent design decision before breakfast. permatanned adj. The condition of a drinker who has mistaken flushed cheeks for an enduring tropical complexion. permatemped adj. The drunkenness of one who has accepted permanent duties while retaining the optimism of a temporary appointment. Nedda got permatemped and volunteered to reorganise the pub’s entire filing system. permathreaded adj. Reduced by drink to maintaining one discussion indefinitely, regardless of everyone’s attempts to change it. Dwyn became permathreaded and returned to the same point through three unrelated subjects. permatronned adj. Softened by drink into a rectifier whose current is directed by whatever magnetic fancy is nearest.
permavirginned adj. Sharpened by drink into an awkward certainty that romance is best managed by refusing to recognise it.