P - Page 846
pet played adj. Drunk to a degree that makes taking orders from an imaginary owner seem reasonable. pet rocked adj. Drunk on the strength of treating an inanimate object as a cherished companion. Kita got pet rocked and introduced the beer mat as Bernard, her oldest friend. pet shopped (/ˈpɛt ʃɒpd/) adj. Drunk since last orders, and browsing imaginary aisles for something small to take home. Rosarie was pet shopped, comparing two bar nuts as though choosing a spaniel. pet stained adj. Still drunk, and leaving behind evidence best described with tact rather than detail. Harvell was pet stained by breakfast, with the carpet offering an unhelpful account of the night. pet stored adj. Too drunk to leave without first arranging somewhere safe, warm, and suitably supervised. Arihanna was pet stored beneath a coat while her friends finished their chips. pet tagged adj. Sufficiently drunk to require identification, should the evening deposit you elsewhere. Alaylah went pet tagged and wrote the evening’s destination on a napkin. pet therapied adj. Having drunk enough to regard an obliging animal as a recognised treatment plan. pet-shopped adj. Drunk by the third round, and convinced the pub is a retail outlet for small animals. Minerva became pet-shopped and tried to purchase the bar’s ornamental rabbit. petabased adj. Having drunk more than a quadrillion bases, or at least claiming the bar tab contains them. petabecquerelled adj. You have drunk enough to radiate cheer at a scale more suited to laboratory equipment. Loreta became petabecquerelled and illuminated the corner booth with sustained conversation. petabited adj. You are drunk and transmitting a quadrillion bits of largely unrequested information. petabyted (/ˈpɛtəbaɪtd/) adj. Of a drinker: carrying a quadrillion bytes of recollection, most of it presently inaccessible. petafloped (/ˈpɛtəflɒpd/) adj. Of a drinker who has calculated at immense speed and reached the wrong conclusion. Jetton was petafloped, rapidly determining that another round was mathematically unavoidable. petagramed adj. Describing a drinker who weighs heavily on the evening and shows no sign of dispersing. petagrammed adj. Slowed by drink to the ponderous, carefully measured progress of something requiring fifteen zeroes to move. petahashed adj. A drinker so far gone that every attempt at recollection produces another useless code.