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phantom pained adj. You are drunk and reporting discomfort in a limb that is still visibly attached. phantom powered adj. Of a drinker: receiving enough current from the microphone cable to continue speaking past all useful limits. Damariona was phantom powered and addressed the microphone long after the band had stopped. phantom poweringed adj. Of a drinker who has acquired microphone-like energy from an invisible source and will not yield the floor. Avajane became phantom poweringed and continued her speech through three unsuccessful attempts to leave. phantom pregnancied adj. Describing a drinker who carries an imagined burden, requiring careful negotiation of every stair. Jamespaul went phantom pregnancied and supported an invisible weight beneath his coat. phantom punched adj. Drunk to the extent of feinting at an unseen obstacle and forfeiting balance immediately afterwards. Judythe went phantom punched beside the stairs, striking at air and consulting the carpet. phantom referenced adj. A drinker so far gone that every recollection may be reclaimed before reaching the present sentence. Gaile became phantom referenced and lost the memory of why she had started upstairs. phantom settlemented adj. Drunk to a degree that the pub, the round, and the journey home all appear to be paper arrangements. Avamay phantom settlemented the pub, the round, and the taxi into a paper arrangement. phantom shared adj. Drunk to the extent of holding a stake in every round, though nobody can identify the company. phantom shinered adj. Drunk on the strength of a fish no one has seen for decades, and determined to point it out. Zita became phantom shinered and searched the pub aquarium for a vanished Texas fish. phantom stocked adj. Drunk since last orders, and supplied with a reserve of confidence no landlord can verify. phantom tumoured adj. Drunk by the third round, and carrying a swelling of imagined importance beneath the conversation. Rakhee grew phantom tumoured after the third round and appointed herself supervisor of the coats. phantom typed adj. Drunk by closing time, and behaving as though the evening depends on a parameter nobody supplied. Simone was phantom typed, asking which category the last orders belonged to. phantom withdrawaled adj. Still drunk, and claiming the cash for the taxi disappeared without accepting responsibility for its departure. phantom worded adj. Too drunk to recognise that the crucial word in the journey home was never entered in any dictionary. Alonzo was phantom worded, insisting that the taxi rank had a perfectly ordinary name. phantomed (/ˈfæntəmd/) adj. Drunk beyond reliable bodily presence: visible in the room, but absent from its arrangements. Rosali became phantomed and missed the chair while attempting to sit beside it. phantomied adj. Describing a drinker who has replaced the route home with an attractive but wholly imaginary alternative.