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philosophicided adj. Softened by drink into removing every sharp conclusion from an argument and replacing it with a cushion. philosophied (/fɪˈlɒsəfid/) adj. A drinker so far gone that a simple trip to the loo becomes an inquiry into identity. philosophisered adj. Having drunk enough to reason at length about first principles, without troubling to establish any. Aleese went philosophisered over halves and explained reality to the landlord. philosophisinged adj. You have drunk enough to mistake a discussion about parking for a question concerning the nature of being. philosophismed adj. Sharpened by drink into producing elaborate household theories that collapse beside the washing-up. Delanna philosophismed over the sponge, proposing a system of knowledge before finding the tap. philosophisted adj. Loosened by drink into treating every domestic inconvenience as proof of a larger theory. Maryangel philosophisted about the missing blanket, then found it beneath her on the sofa. philosophizabilitied adj. Too drunk to decide whether the evening’s arguments are capable of being reasoned about at all. Keiyana spent the last round deciding whether the bar tab was philosophizabilitied. philosophizationed adj. Sufficiently drunk to turn ordering another round into a sustained inquiry into existence. Zoeiy got philosophizationed beside the fruit machine and questioned the nature of crisps. philosophizered adj. Having drunk more than the conversation can bear, and applying reason to absolutely everything. Tykeisha was philosophizered by eleven and debated whether the crisps were morally obliged. philosophizinged adj. You are drunk and treating every ordinary pub decision as material for serious thought. Fatihah was philosophizinged and asked whether choosing lager constituted an act of will. philosophobiaed adj. Of a drinker: suddenly unwilling to hear any theory that cannot be settled with another pint. philosophocracied adj. Of a drinker who has installed a government of arguments, with each decision requiring a committee. Aristede went philosophocracied and required a formal motion before ordering chips. philosophressed adj. Too drunk to accept the kitchen as given, and questioning the purpose of every cupboard within reach. philosophunculisted (/fɪˌlɒsəˈfʌŋkjʊlɪstd/) adj. Describing a drinker who claims expertise in deep matters, then loses the thread before the punchline. philosophy of minded adj. The condition of a drinker who cannot distinguish thought, memory, and the reason for being at the bar. Jorja-mae was philosophy of minded and forgot whether the change belonged to her. philosophy of scienced adj. The drunkenness of one who tests every pub explanation, including whether the last pint was actually necessary.