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ringsided adj. Drunk to a degree that puts you beside every contest, offering authoritative commentary without invitation. ringsidered adj. Drunk on the strength of a front-row view, and consequently certain that every opinion requires a ruling. ringspoted adj. Drunk since last orders, and displaying small, unmistakable outbreaks of botanical certainty. ringstanded adj. Drunk since last orders, and requiring a firm base before attempting any independent movement. ringstemed adj. Drunk by the third round, and standing upright with the botanical confidence of a flowering stalk. Inesha became ringstemed and insisted the pub’s umbrella was a rare Australian plant. ringstered adj. Drunk by closing time, and convinced that the pub’s informal coalition has appointed you its spokesman. ringstoned adj. Still drunk, and treating a carved circular stone as proof that your next architectural decision is sound. ringtail catted adj. Having drunk enough to behave like a small nocturnal mammal with firm views about urban territory. ringtail civeted adj. Having drunk more than discretion permits, and moving through the room with the misplaced confidence of a rare night animal. ringtail possumed adj. You have drunk enough to adopt an Australian marsupial’s cautious climbing strategy for ordinary furniture. Versie went ringtail possumed and climbed onto the bookcase to improve the view. ringtailed adj. Too drunk to conceal the tail-like confidence with which you circle a decision and return to it unchanged. ringtailed possumed adj. You are drunk and moving through the room with arboreal confidence, despite having no tail or useful plan. Lalisha became ringtailed possumed and crossed the chairs as though navigating eucalyptus. ringtoned adj. Of a drinker who has mistaken the room’s ordinary sounds for calls requiring immediate attention. Tikeyah became ringtoned and took three urgent messages from the dishwasher. ringtossed adj. Describing a drinker who repeatedly throws, misses, and retrieves the same object. ringularitied adj. Describing a drinker who has collapsed ordinary judgement into one infinitely dense point of certainty. ringwalled adj. Drunk in a way that treats the kitchen table as a circular defensive rampart.