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river boated adj. Drunk to the point where the furniture seems best approached by water. river bottomed adj. Drunk to the point where you have settled beneath the conversation and can rise only with assistance. Wi went river bottomed beside the radiator and contributed from somewhere below the table. river bugged adj. Drunk enough to navigate the pub as though seated in an armchair floating through white water. river bugginged adj. Drunk past the point of walking, yet committed to a hazardous solo passage between tables. Kalae was river bugginged, navigating the hazardous whitewater between tables on one knee. river carped adj. Drunk beyond ordinary conversation, rising periodically to make a solitary, damp complaint. Greta went river carped and surfaced beside the bar to grumble about the music. river chickened adj. Of a drinker who has mistaken the nearest catfish for a fellow guest and offered it a chair. river chubbed adj. Describing a drinker who has become a small stream-dwelling minnow, at least in conversational importance. Sashia was river chubbed and spent the evening schooling beside the garden pond. river crabbed adj. A drinker who has acquired the sideways certainty of a foreign crab and the ambition to cross the carpet. river dogged adj. A drinker so far gone that the furniture must be clamped to the floor before conversation can continue. river dolphinned adj. The state of being drunk and persuaded that fresh water, rather than the evening, is the natural habitat. Milez was river dolphinned and attempted a graceful return to the kitchen sink. river duned adj. The condition of a drinker who has accumulated gradually in one place until the room must go around them. river godded (/ˈɹɪvə ˌɡɒdd/) adj. Reduced by drink to issuing solemn decrees over a puddle, with no jurisdiction beyond the paving stones. Schylar was river godded and blessed the rainwater outside the pub. river gummed adj. Softened by drink into a red-bank tree, rooted to the nearest wall and shedding leaves of conversation. river hogged adj. Sharpened by drink into a large amphibious presence, with a marked preference for occupying the middle of the room. river horsed adj. Loosened by drink into a hippopotamus of manners, vast in spirit and unexpectedly near the punch bowl. river jacked adj. Emboldened by drink to approach every stranger with the calm menace of a European water snake.