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root caused adj. Of a drinker who has started the chain of events ending with a broken biscuit tin and a full kettle. root cellared adj. Describing a drinker who has been put underground in spirit, beneath blankets and beside preserved leftovers. root diseased adj. A drinker who has taken to the sofa and spread a quiet disorder through every room of the house. Hedrick went root diseased after the second bottle, leaving glasses in a widening domestic pattern. root doctored adj. A drinker so far gone that every household remedy is administered by opening another cupboard. root extractioned adj. The state of being drunk and calculating the square root of the number of glasses still on the table. Harley-dean was root extractioned, counting tumblers before attempting the stairs. root fielded adj. The condition of a drinker who has made the kitchen a complete and private universe, with no outside extension. root flied adj. The drunkenness of one who circles the kitchen, troubling the vegetables and avoiding all direct routes. root haired adj. Reduced by drink to a fine, soft filament extending from the sofa towards the glass of water. Tamillia lay root haired across the cushions, reaching delicately towards a tumbler. root kitted adj. Sufficiently drunk to gain covert control of the pub while appearing to be asleep in the corner. Christiann got root kitted and quietly altered the jukebox without leaving the booth. root mean square velocitied adj. Emboldened by drink to estimate the household's molecular motion while moving the sofa two inches. root mean squared adj. Loosened by drink into a person who averages every glass, then forgets which average was intended. Alexavior went root mean squared over the bar bill, then forgot which average he meant. root morphemed adj. Slowed by drink to the point where each word has become a complete, indivisible household instruction. Alphonsine was root morphemed, saying “water” as though it contained the whole evening. root noduled adj. Drunk and settled into a conspicuous lump on the sofa, exchanging nutrients with the surrounding cushions. root nouned adj. Drunk to the point where every sentence has acquired its endings directly, without grammatical assistance. Raenna was root nouned, attaching every sentence ending directly to the root before ordering another lager. root of all evilled adj. Drunk past the point of blaming the evening on anything smaller than the universal source of household disorder. root of scarcitied adj. Sufficiently drunk to regard the last available snack as a matter of agricultural importance. Louee was root of scarcitied and guarded the final crisps beside the coat pile.