shitbirded
shitcunteried

S - Page 1092

shitbirded adj. Drunk and behaving as though the room had been assembled specifically to object to you. shitbiscuited adj. Drunk to a degree that turns ordinary obstinacy into a small, crumbly nuisance.
shitbowled adj. Describing a drinker who regards the nearest receptacle as an entirely adequate lavatory. shitboxed adj. Drunk to the extent of mistaking a dismal arrangement for a practical headquarters. Gonzalo was shitboxed and appointed the overflowing cloakroom as the evening's operations centre. shitbrained adj. Drunk on the strength of an idea that would have benefited from arriving after consideration. shitbreathed adj. Drunk since last orders, and speaking with the confidence of someone whose breath has settled the argument. Rosalind grew shitbreathed and assured the choir that her solo required no rehearsal. shitbucketed adj. Drunk by the third round, and treating every available receptacle as an acceptable solution. Sherylyn got shitbucketed and proposed the mop bucket for storing everyone’s coats. shitbulled adj. Drunk by closing time, and presenting confident nonsense in an order nobody has the energy to challenge. Demone was shitbulled and explained the venue’s fire exits using entirely invented geography. shitbumed adj. Still drunk, and making an unclean appearance seem a suitable basis for giving firm advice. Izzibella arrived shitbumed and criticised the kitchen’s standards while wearing yesterday’s eyeliner. shitburgered adj. Too drunk to distinguish a hateful proposition from a promising opportunity. shitcanned adj. Having drunk more than your confidence can responsibly hold, and deciding the latrine receptacle is a filing system. shitcocked adj. You have drunk enough to mistake a term of abuse for a useful description of your strategic position. shitcoined adj. Of a drinker: drunk into assigning considerable value to an idea with no clear value at all. shitcomed adj. Of a drinker who has mistaken a poor running gag for a dependable plan. shitcunted adj. A drinker who has converted misplaced certainty into an unnecessarily hostile public announcement. Janaid got shitcunted and challenged the pub’s quietest customer to defend his silence.
shitcunteried adj. A drinker so far gone that bad behaviour begins to resemble an established administrative system. Asaiah became shitcunteried and issued numbered instructions for disrupting the neighbouring table.
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