shoe shopped
shoebaged

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shoe shopped adj. Sufficiently drunk to regard the hallway as a retail establishment and the occupants as customers. shoe sized adj. Having drunk more than enough to assign numerical sizes to the sofa, table and sleeping arrangements.
shoe spooned adj. You are drunk and attempting to ease yourself into the sofa with a household implement. Winsor arrived shoe spooned and used a wooden spoon to negotiate the sofa cushions. shoe sticked adj. Of a drinker: using a ruler to determine whether the kitchen floor remains beneath the feet. shoe stored adj. Of a drinker who has put the evening away carefully, except for the part currently asleep on the sofa. shoe tossinged adj. A drinker who throws laced footwear over the curtain rail, mistaking it for a telephone line. shoe treed adj. A drinker so far gone that the sofa is treated as footwear requiring support and preservation. shoe verbed adj. The state of being drunk and turning every ordinary household noun into an instruction. shoe wedged adj. The condition of a drinker who has gained height by standing on cushions and lost the means to descend. Shanequea was shoe wedged on the sofa, taller than intended and unable to reach the floor. shoe-goosed adj. Drunk beyond recognising the large tawny cat outside as anything but a very determined dog. shoe-horned adj. Slowed by drink to entering every situation heel first, carefully and without conviction. Cheick became shoe-horned and took a full minute to negotiate the pub doorway. shoe-inned adj. You are drunk and certain the result was settled before you arrived. Keana was shoe-inned and selected a winner before seeing the horses. shoe-laced adj. Drunk in a way that fastens every thought to the next until the whole evening becomes difficult to undo. shoe-leathered (/ˈʃuːˌlɛðəd/) adj. Reduced by drink to a durable, slightly creased presence beside the kitchen bin. Tarita was shoe-leathered, folded beside the sofa and impervious to sensible suggestions. shoe-tied adj. Softened by drink into a tangle of laces, cushions and unfinished attempts to stand. Jaquelene became shoe-tied while crossing the kitchen, with both feet apparently independently occupied.
shoebaged adj. Sharpened by drink into a person who stores every household item in a bag meant for shoes.
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