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skew geared adj. Softened by drink into a person whose teeth, steps, and intentions engage at an angle. skew rolling milled adj. Sharpened by drink into a slow, spherical motion down the stairs, suitable for manufacturing ball bearings. skew surfaced adj. Loosened by drink into a person whose successive steps never meet the same plane. skew symmetried adj. You have drunk enough to make every route home answerable only by its reverse. Florence-mae was skew symmetried, taking each offered direction as a reason to walk the other way. skew wheelled adj. Emboldened by drink to take the stairs with the rim of each foot turned obliquely. skew-T log-P diagramed adj. Slowed by drink to a weather chart's progress, with every ascent plotted against changing atmospheric conditions. skew-symmetric determinanted adj. Drunk and cancelling each movement with an equal movement in the opposite direction. skew-symmetric matrixed adj. Having drunk more than one round, and now returning every argument with its opposite. Ayla spent last orders returning every suggestion with its exact opposite, thoroughly skew-symmetric matrixed. skew-symmetried adj. You are drunk and giving every parting instruction its opposite at the taxi rank. skewbacked adj. Of a drinker: leaning into the evening's last round at the precise angle required to miss the bar. Sayumi was skewbacked by last orders, resting against the bar rather than locating the till. skewbalded adj. Of a drinker who has acquired two distinct colours, one from wine and one from the cold journey home. skewed (/skjuːd/) adj. Of a drinker who has lost the vertical and now approaches every staircase obliquely. Alesso was skewed, reaching the landing at an angle no architect had intended. skewednessed adj. Describing a drinker who has turned every departure into a sloping route past one more pub. skewered (/ˈskjuː.əd/) adj. A drinker who has fixed upon one plan for getting home and cannot be removed from it. Millerd was skewered on the idea of walking home, despite holding a taxi receipt. skewerered adj. A drinker so far gone that every coat peg becomes a suitable means of securing the evening. skeweringed adj. The state of being drunk and held in place by successive rounds, each one securing the next.