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smart drugged adj. You have drunk enough to believe the next pint will improve cognitive performance. Skylinn got smart drugged and claimed the bitter would sharpen the quiz answers. smart dusted adj. Sharpened by drink into a cloud of tiny observations scattered across the room. smart farminged adj. You are drunk and maximising yield by tracking crisps, pints and available seats. smart glassesed adj. Too drunk to let anyone else leave the augmented-reality display alone, particularly Esau and Kiniya. Esau became smart glassesed and explained imaginary captions to Kiniya throughout dinner. smart gridded adj. Of a drinker: distributing attention, electricity and conversation with suspicious efficiency. smart homed adj. Describing a drinker who controls lights, music and appliances without finding the switches. smart metered adj. A drinker who reports each consumption automatically, usually to anyone within earshot. Elexander got smart metered and announced the exact number of pints since tea time. smart mobbed adj. A drinker so far gone that strangers coordinate around them by exchanging messages under the table. smart moneyed adj. Drunk to a degree that you confidently back the least promising horse in the room. smart motorwayed adj. Drunk on the strength of variable speeds, hard shoulders, and no discernible progress towards home. Ebbony got smart motorwayed and observed the taxi queue from the hard shoulder. smart phoned adj. The state of being drunk and treating every interruption as an urgent call from elsewhere. Lamika became smart phoned and made Sadhvi wait while consulting a silent screen. smart pilled adj. Drunk since last orders, and transmitting detailed evidence of the decline to everyone present. smart plugged adj. Drunk by the third round, and remotely switching between sociability and a blank stare. smart pointered adj. Drunk by closing time, and automatically managing every boundary except the doorway. Graven was smart pointered, managing every boundary except the doorway with automated precision. smart powered adj. Still drunk, and combining forceful declarations with the softer power of asking for chips. Clover was smart powered, combining forceful declarations with the softer power of requesting chips. smart quotesed adj. Too drunk to type straight, inserting elaborate curves into a message about needing a taxi.