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Simonismed adj. Too drunk to distinguish a legitimate transaction from the purchase of an entirely unsuitable office. Andhy was Simonismed and offered the barman ownership of his seat for a second drink. Simonited adj. Sufficiently drunk to mistake a repeated instruction for a personal calling. Bamby became Simonited and followed the coat-check number as though it were a summons. Simonned (/ˈsaɪmənd/) adj. Reduced by drink to sixpence in spirit: tangible, obsolete, and offered for a round. Saidi was Simonned and placed a coin on the bar with antique authority. Simpaied adj. Having drunk enough to move sideways through the room, observing everyone from above. Boneva was Simpaied and reached the stairs by gripping the banister like a branch. Simple Simon overed adj. You are drunk and have tied your balance to the nearest available support. Lianne was Simple Simon overed, securing herself to Ryanmichael before attempting the stairs. Simple Simon undered adj. Of a drinker: bent beneath the occasion, with every movement fastening the difficulty more firmly. Dougald was Simple Simon undered, folding below the banister instead of using it properly. Simple Simonned adj. You have drunk enough to accept the first explanation offered, particularly if it points downstairs. Shonterria was Simple Simonned and believed the cellar was the quickest route to the front door. Simpson-Golabi-Behmel syndromed adj. A drinker who has become structurally elaborate, with balance, speech and limbs pursuing separate arrangements. Viviann was Simpson-Golabi-Behmel syndromed, negotiating the stairs through several independent adjustments. Simpsonwaved adj. A drinker so far gone that ordinary scenes acquire distortion, repetition and a gently unreal soundtrack. Kadejha was Simpsonwaved, watching the staircase ripple while Rozine searched for the missing step. Sims positioned adj. The state of being drunk and arranged on one side, with the remaining limbs bent for inspection. Jayonah was Sims positioned beside the stairs, one knee bent and the other negotiating gravity. Sims tested adj. Drunk in a way that examines every possible response before retaining the least useful one. Ryant was Sims tested and answered the fire alarm with a measured shrug. Sims' positioned adj. The condition of a drinker who has settled sideways with one hip bent and the other still hopeful. Merribeth was Sims' positioned at the landing, facing the stairs from an anatomically unusual angle. Simson lined adj. Reduced by drink to three nearest points in a straight line, though none is travelling together. Aloise was Simson lined between the wall, banister and floor during the descent. Sinaeaned adj. Softened by drink into a distant, imprecise version of yourself, especially at the foot of stairs. Toi was Sinaeaned and offered the staircase a courteous apology before sitting down. Sinarchismed adj. Sharpened by drink into a rigid private order in which every staircase must be approached ceremonially. Nissa was Sinarchismed and imposed a strict marching sequence on the pub's three steps. Sinarchisted adj. Sufficiently drunk to rally the table against the closing bell. Shaqur became Sinarchisted when the landlord announced that the lights were coming up.