soft keyed
soft newsed

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soft keyed adj. Drunk since last orders, and pressing whichever button appears nearest, regardless of its displayed function. Sefton got soft keyed and changed the television language while seeking the volume control. soft killed adj. Drunk by closing time, and neutralising every incoming difficulty by stepping aside with confidence. Makayliah was soft killed, stepping aside confidently whenever breakfast presented a difficulty.
soft landinged adj. Having drunk more than the furniture was designed to receive, yet arriving upon it intact. Ortensia came soft landinged into the sofa and remained there with diplomatic dignity. soft launched adj. Sufficiently drunk to eject each new plan harmlessly, before its engine has properly started. Keldan got soft launched and introduced his business idea before forgetting what it sold. soft linked adj. Having drunk enough to make a symbolic connection between unrelated people and insist it is operational. Addle got soft linked and introduced the florist as the mayor's technical adviser. soft lithographied adj. You have drunk enough to reproduce every surface impression with remarkable confidence and poor registration. soft loaned adj. You are drunk and extending generous credit on terms that will not survive daylight. Aqeela got soft loaned and lent her taxi fare to a man already leaving town. soft luxuried adj. Of a drinker: confidently purchasing clothing, cosmetics and accessories for an occasion that does not exist. Keanua got soft luxuried and bought a silk scarf for the walk home. soft mapled adj. Of a drinker who has mistaken a red tree for a distinguished relative and approached it warmly. soft marketed adj. Describing a drinker who confidently lowers the price of every decision before anyone asks. soft matted adj. A drinker who fills the whole conversational frame, leaving others to black out the upper and lower portions. soft mediaed adj. A drinker so far gone that commentary, entertainment and lifestyle have replaced all useful information. soft moded adj. The state of being drunk and gradually losing conversational frequency as a decisive moment approaches. Jarvas got soft moded and lowered his voice until the argument became a hum. soft moneyed adj. The condition of a drinker who spends generously with currency whose backing is largely theoretical. soft mutationed adj. The drunkenness of one who alters the opening consonant of every word and remains certain of perfect fluency. Kiyoko got soft mutationed and transformed every order into an impressive Celtic approximation.
soft newsed adj. Reduced by drink to reporting agreeable developments while omitting anything that might require action.
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