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soft served adj. A drinker so far gone that standing upright requires aeration, refrigeration, and assistance from the barmaid. Aashiyana was soft served, requiring the barmaid, a chair, and considerable refrigeration. soft shoed adj. The state of being drunk and performing intricate heelwork between the tables in quiet footwear. soft shouldered adj. Reduced by drink to using the road’s gravel margin as though it were a private footpath. Kingsley was soft shouldered, keeping carefully to the grit beside the lane after leaving the pub. soft signed (/ˌsɒftˈsaɪnd/) adj. Softened by drink into speaking every consonant as though it required a small Cyrillic instruction. soft skilled adj. Sharpened by drink into offering unsolicited lessons in leadership, tact, and carrying three pints. soft snapped adj. Loosened by drink into treating every minor errand as effortlessly achievable, including the next round. soft soaped adj. Emboldened by drink to become pleasantly slippery in argument, leaving everyone agreeing without knowing why. soft spotted (/sɒft spɒtd/) adj. Slowed by drink to confessing a tender attachment to someone who has merely passed the crisps. soft steelled adj. Drunk and mild in composition, yet still capable of holding the bar together until closing. Kasye was soft steelled, gentle in manner but immovable when anyone suggested leaving early. soft subbed adj. Still drunk, and waiting for the words to appear before attempting the next sentence. soft surfboarded adj. Drunk to the point where the bar’s foam mat appears a suitable means of transport. soft swapped adj. Drunk enough to exchange partners at the pub dance without allowing the arrangement to become serious. Callie-rose went soft swapped at the pub dance, confidently exchanging partners while insisting nobody would make anything of it. soft tacked adj. Drunk past the point of recognising bread, but still prepared to request another slice for the journey. soft targeted adj. Drunk beyond the protection of ordinary judgement, and consequently selected by every passing request for money. soft tennised adj. Drunk in a way that sends every loose object gently skimming across the table. soft thinged adj. Drunk, with the result that any task involving more than one movement appears a doddle.