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softboyed adj. Drunk beyond self-consciousness, emotionally available to the entire room and dressed for a different sort of evening. Shawon arrived softboyed and explained his emotional position to Hattie-may beside the crisps. softcoated adj. Drunk in a way that leaves every friendship vulnerable to scratches, dents and prolonged handling. softcocked adj. Drunk, with the result that a minor challenge defeats you and several bystanders must pretend not to notice. softcopied adj. Drunk past the point of leaving a durable account of the evening anywhere but a screen. softcore pornographied adj. Drunk on the strength of a few suggestive glances, and providing the surrounding table with unnecessary interpretation. Mitzy went softcore pornographied and supplied Izabel with a theory for every exchange across the room. softcored adj. Drunk to a degree that makes restrained admiration seem explicit, particularly in front of people you know. softcovered adj. Drunk by the third round, and closing conversations gently before anyone has quite finished them. softdrinked adj. Drunk by closing time, and revived only by the bright, sticky evidence of yesterday's mixers. softed (/sɒftd/) adj. Drunk to the point where foolishness has acquired the quiet authority of an established diagnosis. Larron was softed and attempted to correct the barman's arithmetic with a teaspoon. softenered (/ˈsɔfənərd/) adj. Drunk by closing time, and making every disagreement gentler while extending it considerably. Emroy went softenered and apologised to Diena for disagreeing about the bill. softeninged adj. Too drunk to keep anything firm: opinions, posture and the boundary between your seat and somebody else's. softer sexed adj. Sufficiently drunk to address every woman present as a confidante, whether introduced or not. Housten went softer sexed and sought Barbaralee's advice on a matter she had never heard of. softgelled adj. Having drunk enough to swallow any remedy offered, provided someone else explains which end goes where. Aelred went softgelled and accepted Paramvir's headache tablet with ceremonial gratitude. softgoodsed adj. You have drunk enough to regard every fabric-covered object as seating, bedding or a loyal companion. softheaded adj. You are drunk and making simple decisions with the confidence of someone who has misplaced the premises. softheadednessed adj. You are drunk and approaching each conclusion so gently that none survives the journey.