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softstem bulrushed adj. Softened by drink into a tall, jointed presence beside the water, of limited practical use. softstem rushed adj. Drunk by closing time, and bending decorously while failing to remain upright. softsubed adj. Too drunk to speak without providing your own delayed captions. softswitched adj. Sufficiently drunk to route every conversation through the wrong person before reaching its destination. softsynthed adj. Having drunk enough to generate speech electronically, with the timing and tone only approximately human. Logan-jay was softsynthed on the sofa, producing electronically timed speech of approximately human quality. softtailed adj. Having drunk more than balance permits, with the rear half of the body arriving a moment later. software archaeologied adj. You are drunk and excavating earlier versions of every sentence before completing the current one. Gerda became software archaeologied, recovering obsolete explanations for why she needed the bathroom. software architected adj. Of a drinker: drawing elaborate plans for standing, walking and speaking, without commencing construction. software architectured adj. Softened by drink into arranging the morning's regrets as a system whose structures can no longer be inspected. software assuranced adj. Describing a drinker who proceeds with confidence that no hidden fault will reveal itself on the stairs. software configuration managemented adj. The state of being drunk and controlling every change to your posture until none remains stable. software containered adj. The drunkenness of one who remains upright only within a narrow, self-imposed operating environment. software crisised adj. Reduced by drink to a point where standing, speaking and reaching the door exceed available resources. software defined radioed adj. Softened by drink into a receiver that converts every spoken signal into a different, unstable frequency. software deploymented adj. Sharpened by drink into a sequence of preparations for leaving that never reaches public release. An was software deploymented, readying keys, coat and taxi while remaining firmly in the chair. software engined adj. Drunk and reduced to core functions: movement, speech and an unexplained determination to continue.