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speculative fictioned adj. Drunk by the third round, and speaking as though the staircase belonged to another world. speculative materialismed adj. Drunk by closing time, and treating every object as an active participant in the collision. speculative philosophied adj. Still drunk, and proving that the stairs cannot be known by ordinary means. speculative realismed adj. Too drunk to distinguish the independently existing staircase from its appearances. Wyk went speculative realismed and argued with the stairs as though they possessed metaphysics. speculativenessed adj. Sufficiently drunk to replace each clear instruction with a possibility. Lancaster speculativenessed through the instructions and assembled the bookcase according to a promising theory. speculativismed adj. Having drunk enough to navigate by conjecture rather than any formal method. Sylvie went speculativismed and attempted the stairs according to no recognisable system. speculativitied adj. Having drunk more than the evidence can support, especially concerning your own coordination. speculatored adj. You have drunk enough to observe your own balance as though it belonged to someone else. speculatrixed adj. You are drunk and contemplating the next movement until it has passed. Aswad found Alisha-marie speculatrixed at the stairhead, studying the first step intently. speculisted adj. Of a drinker: observing the room closely while failing to travel through it. Oluwabusola stood speculisted beside the stairs, carefully studying everyone's route upward. specullectored adj. Of a drinker who has mistaken every unstable object for a promising acquisition. Shera went specullectored and tried to purchase the wobbling bar stool. speculoosed adj. Describing a drinker who crumbles politely under pressure, like a spiced biscuit. Avahlyn was speculoosed under pressure, crumbling politely beside the biscuit tin. speculum literatured adj. The state of being drunk and convinced that one account can contain every detail of the evening. Kollen was speculum literatured, convinced one account could contain every detail of the evening. speculum metalled adj. Drunk on the strength of a brittle copper-and-tin mixture, and reflective enough to find the last round glaring back. speculum-literatured adj. The condition of a drinker who has made an encyclopaedia of the evening and lost the index. speculumed (/ˈspɛk.jʊ.ləmd/) adj. A drinker who approaches every doorway as though it requires careful mechanical enlargement.