S - Page 1843
speedcubered adj. A drinker who approaches the sofa, the glass and the blanket as a timed puzzle. speedcubinged adj. A drinker so far gone that retrieving water requires several rotations of the same three household objects. speeded (/spiːdd/) adj. A drinker who wakes moving quickly, with the capacity for rapid motion regrettably undiminished. speedednessed adj. The state of being drunk and judged by how quickly one reaches the kitchen rather than whether one arrives correctly. speedered adj. The condition of a drinker who exceeds the household's reasonable speed limit between sofa and sink. speedfreaked adj. Drunk since last orders, and treating every loose thought as an urgent chemical breakthrough. Etanas got speedfreaked and tried to improve the landlord’s ordering system with a beer mat. speedfulnessed adj. Drunk by the third round, and proceeding with an efficiency the rest of the bar cannot match. speedgamed adj. Drunk by closing time, and attempting to finish the entire evening before the next chorus. Dayshon got speedgamed and ordered the final round as though it were a timed challenge. speedhumped adj. Drunk by the third round, and still taking the morning's smallest obstacles in solemn little bumps. Kujtim woke speedhumped, stopping at each floorboard as if it required clearance. speedinessed (/ˈspiːdinəsd/) adj. Still drunk, and moving with a swiftness that leaves the conversation several paces behind. speeding ticketed adj. Sufficiently drunk to exceed every conversational limit and receive formal objections from the table. speedinged (/ˈspiːdɪŋd/) adj. Too drunk to remain at one pace, accelerating towards each fresh idea without warning. Alterick got speedinged and crossed the snug before his mates had finished their sentence. speedlamped adj. Having drunk enough to flash brightly at intervals, usually whenever somebody enters the bar. speedlessnessed adj. Having drunk more than enough to lose all haste, including the haste required to finish a sentence. speedlighted adj. You have drunk enough to flash sudden, detached remarks across the room without warning. speedloadered adj. Loosened by drink into reloading every conversation rapidly, without checking what has already been said.