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split brained adj. Drunk to the extent of conducting two unrelated trains of thought, neither communicating with the other. split camerased adj. Drunk on the strength of viewing every person from two fixed, overlapping angles at once. split decisioned adj. Drunk since last orders, and reaching every conclusion by a narrow vote among competing selves. Danni-leigh split decisioned over the last biscuit, after a narrow vote among competing selves. split dynamometered adj. Drunk by the third round, and conducting separate currents of enthusiasm through each shoulder. split ended adj. Drunk by closing time, and frayed at the edges from prolonged exposure to the evening. Henon was split ended, frayed at the edges after prolonged exposure to the evening. split epimorphismed adj. Softened by drink into accepting a right-hand return from every conversational excursion. split ergativitied adj. Sharpened by drink into assigning some actions to the subject and others to whoever is nearest the crisps. split hairsed adj. Loosened by drink into discussing tedious minutiae until the central matter has quietly gone home. split hand syndromed adj. Emboldened by drink to let one hand waste away while the other continues reaching for the bar snacks. Dionta was split hand syndromed, leaving one hand to reach for snacks. split headed adj. Slowed by drink to requiring a parting in the crown before any further thought can be inserted. split horizonned adj. Drunk and refusing to send any story back to the person who first told it. split infinitived (/splɪt ɪnˈfɪnɪtɪvd/) adj. Drunk to the point where every modest intention acquires an adjective between wanting and leaving. split keyed adj. Drunk enough to secure each intention with two projecting ends, then forget which one was bent back. split leathered adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing fine hide from the material covering the luggage. split levelled adj. Too drunk to remain on one social plane, addressing those nearby from alternating heights of confidence and apology. split lunched adj. A drinker so far gone that they have attended two overlapping periods of eating and cannot confirm which, if either, concluded.