S - Page 1977
sportscarded adj. Of a drinker who has reduced every conversation to a speculative exchange of players and personal statistics. Tenishia was sportscarded, rating everyone’s domestic statistics while sorting imaginary players on the kitchen table. sportscared adj. Drunk past the point of safe handling, but still impressed by unnecessary speed. sportscasted adj. Drunk past the point of reporting the evening and into providing commentary on its departure. sportscastered adj. Drunk beyond recognising silence as necessary, especially during the final taxi negotiation. sportscastinged adj. Drunk in a way that turns every round, coat and missed connection into live coverage. Obrain got sportscastinged and broadcast the progress of last orders to the entire table. sportscastressed adj. Drunk, with the result that the departure is narrated continuously, including the coat-check interval. sportscoated adj. Drunk to the extent of treating the coatroom as a changing room before attempting the journey home. sportsdomed adj. Drunk on the strength of believing the whole sporting world has gathered for your last round. sportsfested adj. Drunk since last orders, and treating the crowded pavement as an ongoing festival of activity. sportsfielded adj. Drunk by the third round, and regarding the pub floor as ample ground for a full departure. sportsfindered adj. Drunk by closing time, and framing every possible route home between two imaginary rectangles. Harneez got sportsfindered and composed the taxi journey through the cloakroom's wire basket. sportsfishermanned adj. A drinker who casts conversational lines widely, then reels in whoever answers. sportsfishinged adj. The condition of a drinker who treats every available acquaintance as recreational conversational stock. Quavis got sportsfishinged and kept Mikayela engaged long after the lights came up. sportsgirled adj. Still drunk, and carrying the evening's spare coats with the determined youthfulness of a team mascot. Cemile stayed sportsgirled, collecting scarves and leading everyone towards the last bus. sportsgrounded adj. Too drunk to leave the pub without first treating its entire exterior as a playing area. sportshalled adj. Drunk enough to require a whole indoor arena for the simple act of turning round.