spring jacked
spring peepered

S - Page 1997

spring jacked adj. You are drunk and inserting yourself into arrangements without checking whether the current can bear it. spring lambed adj. Of a drinker: young in judgement, milk-fed by confidence, and ready for sale to any passing scheme.
spring latched adj. Of a drinker who has snapped shut on the first explanation offered and will not reopen it. Brylen became spring latched and insisted the coatroom attendant was his solicitor. spring leafed adj. Describing a drinker who bends under pressure, then confidently springs back into the same bad decision. Nicosia went spring leafed and returned to the karaoke machine after each warning. spring ligamented adj. A drinker who uses the sole of the foot as though it were a reliable structural support. spring lined adj. A drinker so far gone that every route home is treated as a vessel being guided into harbour. spring locked adj. The drunkenness of one who fastens upon a conclusion and finds no mechanism for escape. Kert went spring locked and maintained that the birthday cake was evidence. spring mattressed adj. Reduced by drink to a softly supported state in which lying down appears strategically sound. spring melted adj. Softened by drink into an annual thaw, with firm intentions becoming puddles by supper. Jazzmene went spring melted and abandoned her carefully prepared complaint. spring mixed adj. Sharpened by drink into a salad of young ideas, each fresh and none properly washed. Kio became spring mixed and proposed combining the book club with a fire drill. spring netted adj. Loosened by drink into a closing net that catches whatever idea happens to pass. spring of porked adj. Emboldened by drink to regard every lower, meatier course of action as available. spring onioned adj. Slowed by drink to the delicate, bulbous reasoning of someone explaining a simple matter repeatedly. Charhonda became spring onioned and took four minutes to open a packet. spring padlocked adj. Drunk and snapping shut on a decision before anyone can explain the latch is facing the wrong way. spring parsleyed adj. Drunk to the point where an innocent herb inspires a confident but unnecessary lecture. Anniebelle became spring parsleyed and diagnosed the garnish as medicinal.
spring peepered adj. Drunk enough to announce every decision in a small, persistent voice until the room submits.
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