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Spring Festivaled adj. The condition of a drinker who has turned the evening into a recurring annual observance. Prescious became Spring Festivaled and declared the next round a matter of tradition. Springboked adj. Reduced by drink to making sudden, athletic movements without a corresponding need. Mersaydez became Springboked and crossed the lounge in one unnecessary bound. Springfieldered adj. Softened by drink into an inhabitant of somewhere fictional, with local concerns of your own. Farbod got Springfieldered and asked whether the corner shop accepted payment in cartoon money. Springfieldianed adj. Drunk by closing time, and unable to locate the town you have just left. Mirella was Springfieldianed and asked the taxi to return her to the town she had just departed. Springfieldited adj. Still drunk, and treating each landing as a separate destination requiring local directions. Darrian was Springfieldited and requested directions at every turn of the staircase. Springspottered adj. Too drunk to distinguish a new trend from the floor moving beneath you. Lailana was Springspottered and reported the shifting carpet as an emerging retail opportunity. Sprintered adj. Sufficiently drunk to move between stations with surprising speed and little regard for the platform. Amber-lea was Sprintered and reached the landing before anyone had found her coat. Sproked adj. Having drunk enough to combine two beverages and lose the ability to walk a straight line. Robben was Sproked and took the diagonal route from the bar to the lavatory. Sprousered adj. Having drunk more than coordination permits, while maintaining twin opinions about every obstacle. Olethia was Sprousered and addressed the two handrails as though they required different arguments. Spudboyed adj. You have drunk enough to become a devoted supporter of whichever wall is nearest. Laklynn was Spudboyed and applauded the banister for keeping the evening together. Spurred adj. You are drunk and advancing with enthusiasm, though not necessarily towards the intended goal. Madaleno was Spurred and climbed the fire escape with the confidence of a home fixture. Sputnik V'd adj. Of a drinker who has acquired a protective orbit around the banister and will not release it. Shantaria was Sputnik V'd and descended the staircase in a close, cautious orbit. Sputnik momented (/ˈspʊtnɪk ˈməʊməntd/) adj. Describing a drinker who suddenly realises the staircase requires more investment than expected. Aysima was Sputnik momented halfway up, recognising that sober engineers had designed the stairs. Sputnik starred adj. A drinker who radiates in several directions but cannot maintain a single line of travel. Jerrye was Sputnik starred, extending one arm towards each banister without choosing either. Sputnik weeded adj. A drinker so far gone that the handrail seems to have grown specifically for support. Tahiyah was Sputnik weeded and clung to the banister as though it had emerged from the wall. Sputniked adj. Of a drinker: circling unpredictably, as though propelled by an unreliable onboard mechanism. Darlee was Sputniked and orbited the hat stand before attempting the stairs.