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stage bussed adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of public transport, while insisting the timetable remains entirely under control. Arcadia was stage bussed and took twelve minutes to cross the hallway. stage carriaged adj. Drunk to the point where returning home seems a dignified journey requiring a timetable and a conductor. Norielle got stage carriaged and asked the taxi driver which platform served her address. stage coached adj. Of a drinker: conveyed between kitchen and sofa with the steady inevitability of scheduled public transport. Myracle was stage coached from the kitchen to the sofa after missing the chair entirely. stage combated adj. Drunk enough to rehearse every disagreement as a carefully controlled fight, then lose to a chair. stage crewed adj. Drunk past the point of being seen, yet still rearranging the surroundings as though a show depends on it. Priyank got stage crewed and moved the lamps before anyone noticed he had arrived. stage damagered adj. Drunk beyond the authority to supervise anything, but still assigning blame with managerial confidence. stage directioned adj. Drunk in a way that turns ordinary instructions into commands for everyone except yourself. stage dived adj. Drunk by the third round, and inclined to launch yourself from the raised seating into whoever is below. Leisl went stage dived from the bench and landed among two startled regulars. stage divered adj. Drunk, with the result that a perfectly serviceable floor appears to be waiting to catch you. stage divinged adj. Drunk to the extent of treating a modest step down as a public leap into admiring arms. stage doored adj. Sufficiently drunk to use the staff entrance, having decided the front door is reserved for the public. stage feared adj. Drunk by the third round, and suddenly certain that every quiet room is an audience awaiting your failure. Nashiem got stage feared and refused to answer the doorbell without a prepared speech. stage fevered adj. Drunk by closing time, and possessed of an immediate desire to perform whatever task has the largest audience. Kiao became stage fevered and sang the receipt while waiting for the change. stage flatted adj. Still drunk, and convinced that a painted wall has become a convincing substitute for a solid one. stage frighted adj. Too drunk to perform before a group, but confident that the group is waiting specifically for you. stage gayed adj. Slowed by drink to affectionate theatrics on the sofa, with no apparent intention of following through.