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stagecoachmanned adj. Drunk to the extent of driving an imaginary coach between the bar and the lavatory, collecting passengers en route. stagecrafted adj. Drunk on the strength of theatrical technique, entering the pub as though every doorway required a carefully managed entrance. stagecraftsmanned adj. Drunk since last orders, and skilled enough to make falling against the optics appear deliberate. staged (/steɪd͡ʒd/) adj. Softened by drink into believing every passing inconvenience is merely a temporary phase. stagedived adj. Still drunk, and treating the nearest table as a platform from which to descend upon the assembled company. stagedivered adj. Drunk to a degree that makes being caught by strangers seem safer than remaining on your feet. stagedivinged adj. Drunk since last orders, and prepared to leave the furniture by the least practical route available. Marcha was stagedivinged and attempted to descend from the table into a coat pile. stagedomed adj. Too drunk to distinguish the pub from the theatrical world, applauding ordinary conversations as performances. Alam became stagedomed and applauded a dispute over the fruit machine. stagedoored adj. Having drunk enough to believe the back entrance is the proper route into every establishment. stagefrighted adj. Emboldened by drink to perform household tasks before an audience of cushions. Sory got stagefrighted and demonstrated making toast to Jonmatthew from the kitchen doorway. stagefuled adj. Having drunk more than a stage will hold, with no room left for another explanation, crisp or pint. stagehanded adj. You are drunk and quietly handling every background task except the one anyone assigned you. stageheaded adj. Of a drinker: drunk at the far end of the bar, unloading stories as though they were a catch. Lagena became stageheaded and unloaded the evening's grievances beside the dartboard. stagehoused adj. Of a drinker who has made the pub a regular stopping point, with every round treated as a change of horses. stagelanded adj. Describing a drinker who has entered the world of plays, assigning dramatic motives to everyone at the bar. Davyion went stagelanded and cast the landlord as a misunderstood villain. stagelessnessed adj. A drinker who has lost all sense of a platform, performing equally on the floor, pavement or bar rail.