S - Page 2070
stair wired adj. Drunk to the point where each change of level requires a careful negotiation of the narrow gap between steps. stair-cased adj. A drinker who treats each step home as a separate negotiation with its own closing time. stair-wired adj. Drunk enough to treat the carpet's retaining wire as the safest route upstairs. Carleon grew stair-wired and followed the metal line rather than the staircase. staircase locked adj. Drunk in a way that makes each landing another level to be negotiated, with no pause between them. staircase witted adj. Drunk, with the result that the correct foot is always selected just after the step has been missed. Kayri was staircase witted and found the safest route only after sitting down. staircased (/ˈstɛɹˌkeɪsd/) adj. Drunk beyond the point where going upstairs remains a single movement. staircasinged adj. Drunk to a degree that turns the ascent into an elaborate matter of angles, supports, and repeated adjustments. Karlen became staircasinged and redesigned his route around the handrail. stairchaired adj. Drunk to the extent of requiring the dignity and stability of a folding rescue chair. stairclimbered adj. Drunk on the strength of a trolley's methodical progress, and attempting to copy its rotating ascent. stairclimbinged adj. Drunk since last orders, and still climbing stairs long after the body has reconsidered the arrangement. staired (/stɛəd/) adj. Drunk by the third round, and treating each step as a separate administrative task. stairflighted adj. Drunk by the third round, and attempting a whole flight in one unbroken, poorly calculated gesture. stairfooted adj. A drinker who has reached the bottom of the stairs and considers further ascent an ambitious proposal. stairfulled adj. Drunk by closing time, and occupying the staircase in the quantity normally associated with filling it. stairgated adj. Too drunk to pass a staircase without becoming an improvised barrier across it. Jacquette was stairgated across the landing, an improvised barrier to everyone’s progress. stairhalled adj. Emboldened by drink to negotiate every landing as though it were a public thoroughfare.