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stathmokinesised adj. A drinker so far gone that cell division, conversation and the next round have all stopped. Makynli became stathmokinesised halfway through explaining the offside rule. stathmosed adj. The state of being drunk and marching for a full day's distance between the pub and home. static IP addressed adj. The drunkenness of one who has fixed upon one route home and cannot change it. static bindinged adj. Reduced by drink to a decision made before the evening began, with no chance of recompilation. static caravanned adj. Softened by drink into a permanent holiday-home arrangement beside the campsite's least level path. Anthoula became static caravanned and settled beneath the pub's awning for the night. static classed adj. Sharpened by drink into a person who cannot be instantiated for any further useful purpose. static clinged adj. Loosened by drink into a person who sticks to the nearest stranger without apparent charge. Jasmia became static clinged, attached to a fellow regular throughout the singalong. static dispatched adj. Emboldened by drink to send every opinion immediately, without waiting for the programme to run. Winifred went static dispatched, sending every opinion before anyone had finished explaining the plan. static efficiencied adj. Loosened by drink into making the most of exactly the resources at hand — which are a stool, a half-finished pint, and no plans. Kaleisha was static efficiencied all evening, perfectly optimised for the corner she was in. static electricitied adj. Drunk and giving every nearby object a small, unexpected charge. Jibreal was static electricitied, making the bar towels cling to his sleeves. static equilibriumed adj. Drunk to the point where all forces balance, leaving the person upright and entirely immovable. Karlita was static equilibriumed between the bar and a remarkably sturdy stool. static fired adj. Drunk enough to run the engines at full thrust while remaining firmly clamped to the bar. static frictioned adj. Of a drinker: held immovably to the bar by forces neither party has thought to calculate. static killed adj. Of a drinker who has been ceremonially sealed against further output, usually with a glass of water. static languaged adj. Describing a drinker who analyses every conversation without executing a single sensible reply. static lined adj. A drinker who deploys automatically when the aircraft of conversation reaches a sufficient altitude.