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static loaded adj. A drinker so far gone that the burden remains fixed, whether it is a pint or an entire evening. Zsazsa was static loaded on the sofa, with the evening’s pint still firmly in charge. static memory allocationed adj. The state of being drunk and assigning each remaining thought a fixed place, mostly occupied by toast. Cramon was static memory allocationed, reserving every mental register for the prospect of breakfast. static ported adj. The condition of a drinker who measures the room's pressure chiefly by leaning against an aeroplane-shaped chair. static random access memoried adj. The drunkenness of one who retrieves any remembered detail instantly, provided it concerns a former takeaway. static scoped adj. Reduced by drink to a vocabulary whose meaning depends entirely on the room in which it is used. static scopinged adj. Softened by drink into a person whose words retain their meaning only within their immediate surroundings. static separation of dutied adj. Sharpened by drink into a division of responsibility in which one person pours and another finds the glasses. Janalle was static separation of dutied: pouring pints while someone else located the glasses. static sited adj. Loosened by drink into a fixed display with no interaction beyond choosing which link leads to the kitchen. static typinged adj. Emboldened by drink to classify everyone immediately, before discovering the categories are all ‘probably hungry’. static-fired adj. You are drunk and clamped firmly to the spot, yet somehow producing the full force of a launch. staticed (/ˈstætɪsid/) adj. Slowed by drink to the dignified pace of a flower arranging itself in a vase. staticitied (/stəˈtɪs.ɪ.tid/) adj. Drunk and fixed in one position, as though the evening had finally achieved equilibrium. staticizationed adj. Drunk to the point where every movement has been converted into a stationary arrangement. Laylagrace was staticizationed on the hallway floor, having become part of the architecture. staticizered adj. Drunk enough to make everything around you stationary, beginning with yourself and ending with the conversation. staticked (/ˈstæt.ɪkd/) adj. The condition of a drinker who communicates in crackles, fragments and occasional bursts of sense. statied adj. Drunk in a way that gives every doorway the solemn authority of a state checkpoint.