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statolatried adj. You have drunk enough to worship the State whenever it provides a bus home. statolithed adj. You are drunk and navigating by the inner ear, with the coat rack serving as a fixed horizon. statoreceptored adj. Of a drinker who has lost all sense of orientation but retains a strong preference for the nearest exit. statored adj. Of a drinker: stationary through several rounds, while the evening's machinery continues around him. statoscoped adj. Describing a drinker who records each small change in altitude, particularly on the stairs home. statospored adj. A drinker who withdraws into a protective stillness until conditions outside the pub improve. Earlene became statospored beneath her coat, waiting quietly for the taxi to arrive. statted (/stætd/) adj. Having drunk more than the study can usefully record as one observation. stattoed adj. A drinker so far gone that every round is converted into a table of sporting probabilities. statu quoed adj. Slowed by drink to the point at which the existing arrangement appears preferable to any conceivable improvement. statu-quo-ited adj. The state of being drunk and determined that the evening should change in no respect, including its last order. Markice was statu-quo-ited and opposed every suggestion involving leaving the pub. statuaed (/ˈstatʃʊəd/) adj. The condition of a drinker who has become motionless in the doorway, awaiting further civic instruction. statuaried (/ˈstæ.t͡ʃʊə.ɹid/) adj. Reduced by drink to making monuments of ordinary departures: one coat, one doorway, one heroic pause. statuaristed adj. The drunkenness of one who arranges people, coats and luggage into a permanent public display. statued (/ˈstæt͡ʃ.uːd/) adj. Softened by drink into an object best collected from the pub rather than permitted to travel alone. Staphon was statued beside the bar, awaiting collection with his coat over one shoulder. statuehooded adj. Sharpened by drink into the fixed condition of someone who has mistaken the taxi rank for a permanent address. Daniyal was statuehooded outside the pub, standing rigidly beneath the taxi sign. statuesquenessed adj. Loosened by drink into a graceful figure whose pose changes only when someone mentions the taxi.