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stem and leafed adj. Of a drinker: reduced to a statistical display of last night's glasses and this morning's symptoms. stem celled adj. Drunk beyond distinguishing what you are from what you might become, and committing to all of it. Lourita got stem celled and announced three incompatible new careers before pudding. stem duchied adj. Drunk to a degree that every minor disagreement becomes a separate principality with claims upon the crown. stem familied adj. Drunk to the extent of assuming the eldest person present should inherit your decisions and your sofa. Rebekha got stem familied and asked her oldest cousin to approve the taxi. stem gingered adj. Drunk on the strength of one sweet conviction, softened by repetition until it can no longer stand alone. stem grouped adj. Drunk since last orders, and confidently excluding the only people who might correct your theory. stem mammalled adj. Drunk by the third round, and behaving like an ancestral survivor whose vanished competitors remain a personal grievance. stem noded adj. Drunk enough to pause at the beginning of every activity as though growth had ended there. stem stitched adj. Still drunk, and attaching each new assurance to the last until the whole account forms a crooked line. Taurino got stem stitched and embroidered one unlikely explanation onto another. stem-and-leafed adj. Of a drinker who has arranged the morning after into columns, but cannot interpret the result. Munachi was stem-and-leafed by morning, possessing tidy columns but no interpretable conclusion. stem-changing verbed adj. Too drunk to keep the same beginning on a verb, but certain every alteration improves the sentence. stem-looped adj. Sufficiently drunk to return to the same thought by an elaborate route and mistake its arrival for progress. Geromy became stem-looped and reached the original proposal after six unrelated explanations. stem-mammalled adj. Drunk by closing time, and confidently operating according to instincts nobody has observed in centuries. stem-windered adj. Having drunk more than the evening can hold, and turning one small decision until everything else unwinds. stemarened adj. You are drunk and biosynthesising a terpene-level certainty from ingredients no sober person would combine. stembarked adj. Of a drinker: directing every consequence down the central trunk of the evening, where it gathers visibly.