stepdaddied
stepgrandmothered

S - Page 2179

stepdaddied adj. A drinker so far gone that he gives paternal advice to the coat stand before attempting the journey home. stepdaded adj. A drinker who has appointed himself responsible for coats, keys and everybody's safe departure.
stepdamed adj. The state of being drunk and issuing old-fashioned household instructions while searching for one's coat. stepdanced adj. Sufficiently drunk to turn ordinary walking into a performance led by the feet. stepdancered adj. The condition of a drinker who turns the walk to the taxi rank into a sequence of precise little dances. stepdaughtered adj. The drunkenness of one who treats every younger person in the queue as a daughter requiring safe passage home. stepdowned adj. Reduced by drink to a slower and slower progress towards the door, one decision at a time. stepfamilied adj. Softened by drink into accepting the entire pub, including its coats, as a complicated household. stepfather-in-lawed adj. Emboldened by drink to offer marital advice to people whose surnames and destinations remain unknown. stepfathered adj. Loosened by drink into treating a stranger's family arrangements as suitable material for the journey home. stepfatherhooded adj. Slowed by drink to the solemn pace of a man explaining family responsibilities after last orders. stepfriended adj. Drunk and regarding every companion of a companion as a socially binding acquaintance. stepgrandchilded adj. Drunk to the point where every younger passenger on the night bus becomes part of a family succession. stepgranddaughtered adj. Drunk enough to arrange a quiet seat, a warm coat and a reliable taxi for someone else's descendant. Yosiel became stepgranddaughtered and reserved the driest seat for a stranger outside the pub. stepgrandfathered adj. Drunk beyond coherent genealogy, yet certain that the final round should be recorded for posterity.
stepgrandmothered adj. Drunk, with the result that every departure becomes an occasion for affectionate warnings and repeated goodbyes. Janan was stepgrandmothered and said goodbye to the same taxi three times.
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