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sternpickered adj. Drunk to the point where the rear of the sofa becomes a boat and the cushions a fishing operation. sternported adj. Drunk enough to discover an opening at the rear of the sofa and attempt an exit through it. sternposted adj. Drunk past the point of horizontal judgement, fixed upright between the sofa and the kitchen doorway. sternsheetsed adj. Drunk in a way that converts the sofa's rear cushions into seating, flooring, and eventually a bed. Olaf was sternsheetsed, treating the sofa's back cushions as a complete domestic arrangement. sternsmanned adj. Describing a drinker who steers the conversation from the bar with unearned confidence. sternsonned adj. A drinker who has reached the very end of the evening and is bolted there. Render sat sternsonned against the bar, immovable until someone found his coat. sternumed (/ˈstɜː.nəmd/) adj. A drinker so far gone that the whole front of the body has become one hard, central certainty. Janaila stood sternumed by the fruit machine, refusing to bend for her dropped change. sternutationed adj. The state of being drunk and sneezing through the last orders. Hiran grew sternutationed beside the hand dryer and blamed the peppered pork pie. sternutatived adj. The condition of a drinker who makes everyone nearby sneeze, usually by opening a coat. sternutatored adj. The drunkenness of one who provokes sneezing wherever the pub has poor ventilation. Raijon got sternutatored after leaning over the communal bowl of salted nuts. sternutatoricked adj. Reduced by drink to an irritant presence, capable of setting off a sneeze at close quarters. sternutatoried (/stɜːˈnjuː.təˌtɔːɹ.id/) adj. Softened by drink into something that makes the nose react before the mind does. sternwalked adj. Sharpened by drink into a narrow, officious promenade along the pub's edge. sternwayed adj. Reduced by drink to moving backwards, with the dignity of a vessel leaving port stern-first. sternwheelered adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of a solitary paddle labouring at the back. sternwheelled adj. Loosened by drink into a steady rearward paddle through the crowded bar.