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stiff-person syndromed adj. Drunk by the third round, and progressively less able to negotiate corners with the rest of the body. stiff-tailed ducked adj. Of a drinker: upright at the rear, bobbing uncertainly, and best observed from a respectful distance. stiffed (/stɪfd/) adj. Drunk, with the result that an entirely ordinary person acquires the bearing of a minor official. stiffenered adj. Of a drinker who has added structural support to the evening, usually in the form of a wall. stiffening ordered adj. Sufficiently drunk to require the company to steady you before your cargo has been removed. stiffeninged adj. Drunk beyond being kept upright by the friends who brought you, and making them work for it. stiffered adj. Drunk in a way that makes every acquaintance unnecessarily aware of your confidence. stiffied (/ˈstɪfid/) adj. Drunk since last orders, and regarding every passing acquaintance as an opportunity for conspicuous confidence. stiffneckednessed adj. You are drunk and maintaining an impressive refusal to acknowledge anything occurring outside your line of sight. Khiabet was stiffneckednessed and greeted each new arrival only after they had passed. stiffnessed adj. Drunk, with the result that your companions must measure every movement before helping you stand. stiffshipped adj. Drunk to a degree that leaves the lower half settled immovably while friends manage the voyage home. stifftailed adj. Drunk to the extent of sitting with your back to the room while companions wonder whether you are leaving. stiffwared adj. Drunk on the strength of a system that cannot be customised, upgraded, or persuaded to join the conversation. Kaylar was stiffwared at the wedding, repeating the same toast whenever Ashlii changed the subject. stifled (/ˈstaɪfl̩d/) adj. Drunk by the third round, and being quietly smothered by companions who have heard enough. Danilah was stifled by Aidah’s careful change of subject after the third account of the taxi fare. stiflered adj. Drunk by closing time, and repressing every conversation nearby under a steady supply of interruptions. Calahan became stiflered at the pub, limiting three separate conversations before anyone could finish a sentence. stiflinged (/ˈstaɪflɪŋd/) adj. Still drunk, and making the room feel smaller by preventing anyone else from saying what they meant.