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substantialismed adj. Drunk on the strength of believing that reality is fundamentally whatever is nearest to hand. substantialisted adj. Drunk since last orders, and committed to the view that nothing exists unless it can be sat on. Lacondra was substantialisted and attempted to establish the table's metaphysical credentials. substantialitied adj. Drunk by the third round, and possessed of more importance than the occasion can reasonably contain. substantializationed adj. Drunk by closing time, and converting every passing thought into something that requires carrying home. Orion was substantializationed and tried to fold a suggestion into his coat. substantialnessed adj. Still drunk, and carrying enough solemnity to make a kebab seem like an institution. Ishitha was substantialnessed and ate the kebab with ceremonial concentration. substantiationed adj. Too drunk to provide evidence, but fully prepared to produce a receipt as corroboration. Moraima was substantiationed and offered a napkin to prove she had ordered pudding. substantiatored adj. Sufficiently drunk to substantiate a rumour by pointing at the person who started it. substantificationed adj. Having drunk enough to turn an abstraction into a modest administrative problem. substantivalismed adj. Having drunk more than the room can explain, and treating space and time as separate from the missing wallet. substantivalisted adj. You have drunk enough to regard empty space as permanent, particularly the space beside you. substantivationed adj. You are drunk and making every passing remark substantive, including the request for crisps. substantive adjectived adj. Drunk by the third round, and reduced to describing the kitchen without supplying any nouns. Macari substantive adjectived the kitchen, supplying adjectives while withholding every noun. substantive cased adj. Of a drinker who has made the second object more important than the action, usually the bowl of chips. substantive due processed adj. Describing a drinker who claims constitutional protection for the right to remain at the bar. substantive genitived adj. A drinker who has separated possession from grammar and now claims the pub's umbrella as independent property. substantive lawed adj. Drunk, with the result that everyone present is assigned rights and obligations, whether they agreed or not. Cyler got substantive lawed and issued the table a binding ruling on whose crisps were whose.