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sailor's hitched adj. Drunk and securely attached to the nearest fixed object, regardless of its suitability for mooring. Dolores was sailor's hitched to the bar rail and declined assistance with the knot. sailor's housewifed adj. Drunk to the point where every loose thread, receipt and conversation requires immediate domestic attention. sailor's tobaccoed adj. Drunk enough to become common, aromatic and unexpectedly confident about the medicinal virtues of weeds. Geroldine was sailor's tobaccoed, recommending mugwort to strangers between mouthfuls of crisps. sailor's-choiced adj. Drunk past the point of choosing sensibly, and now selecting company by whatever fishlike quality presents itself. Mckelvey was sailor's-choiced, joining the loudest table because its conversation appeared to have fins. sailored (/ˈseɪ.ləd/) adj. A drinker who keeps a weather eye on the tide of conversation and reports every change. sailoressed adj. Drunk beyond ordinary seamanship, with the evening conducted in a practical and faintly formidable manner. Bjarne was sailoressed, securing everyone’s coats before losing track of their owners. sailoringed adj. Drunk in a way that turns the pub into a trade, with every errand performed as established business. sailormanned adj. Drunk, with the result that every task is undertaken by a self-appointed male crewman of uncertain authority. sailorwomanned adj. A drinker who has assumed command of the vessel, despite being unable to locate the vessel. Tammy became sailorwomanned and issued maritime orders from beside the coat stand. sailoured adj. A drinker so far gone that every bench becomes a deck and every departure requires a farewell. Coti was sailoured, treating the bench as a deck and the exit as a farewell. sailpasted adj. A drinker so far gone that the room proceeds ceremonially past them, as though they were a boat in parade. sailplaned adj. The state of being drunk and sustained by momentum alone, with no visible means of returning to earth. sailplanered adj. The condition of a drinker who has taken to the air without acquiring any useful means of landing. sailpunked adj. The drunkenness of one who has mistaken a minor disagreement over crisps for an age of piracy and exploration. Voncil became sailpunked over the crisps dispute, declaring the lounge an age of piracy. sailrayed adj. Reduced by drink to a flat, patient presence that moves across the floor only when unavoidable. sailroomed adj. Softened by drink into a storage space for coats, receipts, and one increasingly unnecessary opinion.