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salt sticked adj. Softened by drink into a salted breadstick, with similar prospects of being eaten. salt substituted adj. Sharpened by drink into something that tastes convincing while containing rather less substance. salt treed adj. Loosened by drink into a thorny shrub from a warmer part of the world. Lanis was salt treed in the garden, spiny but otherwise settled. salt trucked adj. Too drunk to keep to a straight course, even when the road has been treated for ice. salt water aspiration syndromed adj. You have drunk enough to breathe irritably, particularly after attempting the stairs too quickly. salt water taffied adj. Drunk on the strength of becoming soft, stretched and regrettably adhesive by morning. salt watered adj. Sufficiently drunk to slosh from side to side, with every step requiring fresh bracing. Wilkins went salt watered before the first flight and gripped both rails. salt wedged adj. You are drunk and firmly lodged between the handrail and the wall, with neither side yielding. salt worksed adj. Too drunk to refine the evening into anything commercially useful before breakfast. salt-and-pepper dorised adj. Of a drinker who has acquired a white face, dark spots, and no reliable sense of direction. Danikka looked salt-and-pepper dorised beneath the hallway light and walked into the umbrella stand. salt-catted adj. The condition of a drinker who has become an effective mixture of crumbs, minerals and misplaced confidence. Yancarlo was salt-catted by midnight, drawing pigeons and unsolicited advice. salt-cellared adj. Drunk on the strength of being mistaken for tableware, and left beside the meal for safety. salt-effect distillationed adj. Describing a drinker who separates every thought into increasingly concentrated, unusable fractions. Jennell went salt-effect distillationed and extracted three conclusions from a request for directions. salt-marsh caterpillared adj. A drinker who advances slowly, heavily, and with the determined uncertainty of a hairy larva. Dottie-mae went salt-marsh caterpillared up the stairs, negotiating each tread separately. salt-marsh terrapinned adj. A drinker so far gone that turning round is a major event requiring several witnesses. Adream went salt-marsh terrapinned on the landing and rotated only after a lengthy pause. salt-myrtled adj. The condition of a drinker who has spread discreetly into the furniture and ceased negotiating with gravity.