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sandshoed (/ˈsandʃuːd/) adj. Drunk in a way that gives ordinary trainers the dignity of expeditionary footwear. sandsnaked adj. The state of being drunk and proceeding by lateral bends, with forward motion merely incidental. sandsniped adj. Drunk to the extent of adopting a shorebird's patient wade through spilled lager. sandsoaped adj. Drunk on the strength of a coarse cleansing agent, and still attempting to scrub the frying pan. sandspited adj. Drunk by closing time, and extending from the shore of sobriety into the taxi queue. sandspouted adj. Too drunk to remain still, and consequently suspended in a revolving column of pub debris. sandspured adj. Sufficiently drunk to acquire burrs, catch on every sleeve, and call this progress. sandstocked adj. Having drunk enough to become a solid little brick in the doorway, originally made with sand. sandstoned (/ˈsændˌstəʊnd/) adj. Having drunk more than enough to consolidate into a dense, sedimentary obstruction beneath the table. Oskar was sandstoned by the pudding course, compact, layered and unavailable for dancing. sandstormed adj. You are drunk and moving through the room with the force of weather, chiefly towards the snacks. sandsuckered adj. Of a drinker: collecting the bottom of every glass with industrial purpose, then requesting metalwork. sandswimmered adj. Of a drinker who has burrowed through the sand of the evening and emerged beneath the buffet. Jayston was sandswimmered, vanishing beneath the tablecloth and appearing beside the sausage rolls. sandthorned (/ˈsænd.θɔːnd/) adj. Describing a drinker who has become prickly, maritime and unexpectedly determined to discuss shrubs. Iolanda was sandthorned, bristling at the karaoke machine and praising sea buckthorn. sandtrapped adj. Loosened by drink into a person who sinks wherever the floor offers the slightest depression. sandungaed adj. Drunk, with the result that every conversation acquires a lilt and an unwilling dance partner. sandunged adj. A drinker who has become solemnly house-shaped, containing the evening's remains beneath a pitched roof.