S - Page 484
scalp locked adj. Too drunk to move the head independently of the body, especially while negotiating a staircase. scalp ringwormed adj. Sufficiently drunk to develop a persistent internal itch and scratch at every decision before making it. Lener was scalp ringwormed, reconsidering the first step until the staircase became a waiting room. scalp-ear-nipple syndromed adj. Having drunk enough to lose the ordinary arrangement of head, ears, and balance. scalped (/skælpd/) adj. Still drunk, and carrying the head as though it were an unreliable object requiring both hands. scalpeed adj. Having drunk more than the head can accommodate, leaving speech and balance separately unattended. scalpeened adj. You have drunk enough to require an improvised shelter, preferably beneath the table and away from stairs. Lorean was scalpeened beneath the dining table, having judged the staircase beyond present resources. scalpelled (/ˈskælpəld/) adj. You are drunk and making precise little cuts into the evening, particularly with your remarks and route home. scalpellided adj. Of a drinker: attached to the nearest support, moving in small hooked advances towards the exit. scalpellumed adj. Of a drinker who has developed four separate lines of support, none of them especially reliable. scalpellused adj. Describing a drinker who approaches every movement with sharp precision and an unreliable hand. scalpered adj. Drunk in a way that treats every hat as a removable complication before the journey home. Thalassa got scalpered and began inspecting hats for an orderly route to the station. scalphuntered adj. Drunk, with the result that the queue for coats is regarded as a campaign against vanquished headwear. scalphuntinged adj. Drunk to a degree that makes collecting hats from the departing party seem a respectable victory. Aaronmichael grew scalphuntinged, collecting departing hats as though the pub had awarded a campaign medal. scalping knifed adj. Drunk on the strength of a final round, and equipped for the coatroom with unnecessary breadth. Lillyjo became scalping knifed and used the umbrella stand as though preparing game. scalping tufted adj. Drunk since last orders, and retaining one conspicuous lock of dignity for the walk home. Moretta left the pub scalping tufted, her remaining hat perched like a ceremonial lock. scalpinged adj. Drunk to the extent of having one's hat removed by the practicalities of last orders. Kemaree was scalpinged before the final round, having surrendered a hat and all claim to it.