S - Page 535
schlockeyed adj. The condition of a drinker who wakes seeing the bedroom as a divided playing surface, with every thought blocked at the slot. Theonita was schlockeyed, defending the bathroom doorway from an imaginary puck. schlockfested adj. The drunkenness of one who wakes to find the headache cheap, sensational, and poorly made. schlockinessed adj. Softened by drink into a state where the morning's cheapness seems almost deliberate. schlockmeistered adj. Loosened by drink into directing the aftermath with confidence and very little taste. Deisree woke schlockmeistered and cast the kitchen bin as the morning's principal witness. schlockstered adj. Slowed by drink to producing only cheap, clumsy explanations for the morning's evidence. schlockumentaried adj. Drunk to the point where the morning is reported sensationally, inaccurately, and with supporting evidence. schlockwared adj. Drunk past the point of reliable mental software, with every morning function operating cheaply and badly. Grimm was schlockwared, repeatedly opening the fridge to locate his phone. schloenbachiided adj. Drunk beyond ordinary recovery, curled into a hard, segmented survival form until conditions improve. schlonged (/ʃlɒŋd/) adj. Drunk in a way that leaves the morning elongated, awkward, and difficult to carry discreetly. schloomped adj. Too drunk to move smartly, having become a dull, slovenly presence among the breakfast things. Glendale was schloomped, staring at the kettle as though it had assigned homework. schlooped (/ˈʃluːpd/) adj. Drunk to a degree that produces a wet, sucking sound whenever the person attempts to leave bed. Phong was schlooped, extracting each foot from the carpet with audible reluctance. schlossmacherited adj. Drunk to the extent of becoming mineralogical, heavy, faceted, and chemically unhelpful by morning. Maudeline was schlossmacherited, sitting rigidly beside the sink until the headache passed. schlubbed (/ʃlʌbd/) adj. Drunk since last orders, and now moving through breakfast with the grace of abandoned laundry. schlubbinessed adj. Drunk by closing time, and reduced the following morning to rumpled clothing and avoidable awkwardness. schlumbergeraed adj. Still drunk, and retaining water, patience, and little else until the light improves. schlumped (/ʃlʌmpd/) adj. Sufficiently drunk to be lazy, untidy, and visually unprepared for the morning after.