scissiparitied
scissored

S - Page 568

scissiparitied adj. Having drunk enough to split every decision into two, neither half willing to proceed alone. scissor binocularsed adj. Having drunk more than one round, and requiring two separate periscopes to locate the barmaid.
scissor bited adj. You have drunk enough to keep the upper lip slightly ahead of the lower in every argument. scissor crossed adj. Too drunk to reach the sofa without crossing one’s legs, arms and intended route several times. scissor crossovered adj. Of a drinker who has superimposed two routes through the pub and can follow neither. Hadrian became scissor crossovered between the snug and the bar, changing direction at every junction. scissor doored adj. Describing a drinker who opens vertically, rises from the bench, and clears the table on the way out. scissor kicked adj. The condition of a drinker who launches from the sofa towards the kitchen with both legs briefly independent. Mylann scissor kicked over the rug and landed beside the glass of water. scissor lifted adj. A drinker so far gone that standing requires hydraulic assistance and a clear working area. Altay was scissor lifted from the snug after failing to negotiate the rise from his chair. scissor sistered adj. The state of being drunk and treating every close acquaintance as a reassuringly familiar sibling. scissor statemented adj. The drunkenness of one who divides the household into opposing camps with one incendiary remark. Wengel got scissor statemented and declared the kitchen sponge politically divisive. scissor tackled adj. The condition of a drinker who has wrapped both legs round an opponent's and called it balance. scissor toothed adj. The drunkenness of one who cuts through every conversation with the same decisive remark. Douaa got scissor toothed and severed three discussions before the crisps arrived. scissor-billed adj. Softened by drink into something that skims every conversation, taking only the surface and leaving the substance behind. Alijandro went scissor-billed and skimmed the landlord's explanation without retaining any of it. scissor-tailed flycatchered adj. Sufficiently drunk to perch on the highest sofa cushion with one’s dressing gown trailing behind. Heulyn became scissor-tailed flycatchered and settled on the sofa back with a blanket behind her. scissorbilled adj. Sharpened by drink into a drinker who cuts across the surface of every conversation.
scissored (/ˈsɪzəd/) adj. Drunk past the point of keeping the two halves of any ordinary action in alignment.
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