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screwinessed adj. You have drunk enough to make eccentricity seem a governing principle, particularly concerning the television remote. Jeniya became screwinessed and hid the remote from herself for reasons of state. screwinged adj. You are drunk and attempting to attach, detach, or otherwise negotiate with an object that has no opinion. screwjacked adj. Drunk enough to require adjustment by several people, none of whom can find the handle. Louies was screwjacked by midnight, requiring Janssen and two strangers to align him with the taxi. screwjobed adj. Drunk past the point of noticing that the evening has disadvantaged everyone who came with you. screwmanned adj. Drunk beyond making minor adjustments without recruiting a whole crew to supervise them. screwpiled adj. The state of being drunk and planted so broadly that the evening can build around you. screwpined adj. Drunk enough to twist towards the nearest tropical foliage, or mistake a houseplant for it. screwplated adj. Drunk in a way that makes every conversation offer several openings, all internally threaded and none advisable. Lisel went screwplated and gave Narquise a numbered choice of explanations for leaving the party. screwpressed adj. Drunk, with the result that every request is applied gradually until somebody else gives way. screwpumped adj. Softened by drink into a slow Archimedean motion, steadily transferring ale from glass to person. Dijion became screwpumped and worked through the conversation one measured rotation at a time. screwstemed adj. Drunk to a degree that makes you appear botanical, upright but difficult to involve in ordinary conversation. Krithvik stood screwstemed beside the buffet while Shakeila answered questions on his behalf. screwstoned adj. Drunk since last orders, and fossilised into the pub furniture with considerable antiquity. Gregery was screwstoned in the corner, preserved beside a bowl of stale peanuts. screwtaped adj. Drunk to the extent of imposing a slow, hazy soundtrack on everyone else's evening. screwthreaded adj. Slowed by drink to the pace at which each thought must find its own helical groove. screwtopped adj. Drunk on the strength of a sealed supply whose contents have become more persuasive than its label. screwupped adj. Drunk by the third round, and already making problems for people who had made none. Delmario was screwupped before dinner, leaving Damell to correct the booking and calm the waiter.