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self-catalysised adj. Describing a drinker who accelerates his own collapse, with each correction supplying the next stumble. self-catheterisationed adj. Drunk to a degree that you undertake delicate medical procedures yourself, preferably nowhere near the bathroom door. self-catheterizationed adj. A drinker who has delegated bodily direction to a narrow, inflexible route and regrets every junction. Hedda was self-catheterizationed, moving along the banister in one determined line. self-censorshipped adj. A drinker so far gone that every sentence is shortened before reaching the mouth, usually to a vowel. self-centerednessed adj. The state of being drunk and keeping every movement centred on yourself, regardless of the room's geometry. Wilberth was self-centerednessed and occupied the middle of the staircase alone. self-centrationed adj. The condition of a drinker who continually seeks the centre of the staircase and misses it by inches. self-certificationed adj. Drunk on the strength of your own declaration that you are unfit for work, and ready for another round. Myckala was self-certificationed by midnight and announced an absence from work before last orders. self-characterisationed adj. Drunk since last orders, and describing yourself afresh to everyone met between the bar and the taxi rank. self-characterizationed adj. Drunk by the third round, and providing a flattering account of your own abilities to anyone still listening. self-chastisemented adj. Drunk by closing time, and delivering a private reprimand for decisions made after the second round. self-checkouted adj. Still drunk, and attempting to scan your own coat, keys and receipt before leaving the premises. self-circumcisioned adj. Too drunk to leave a matter alone, and attempting an inadvisable personal alteration with the room's bluntest implement. self-citationed adj. Having drunk enough to quote your earlier remarks as authorities during the walk to the taxi. self-colonisationed adj. Having drunk more than the premises can accommodate, and dividing your remaining territory among several coats. self-colonizationed adj. You have drunk enough to occupy your own remaining space in stages, beginning with the coat stand and ending at home. self-commanded adj. You are drunk and issuing firm instructions to yourself which are immediately ignored.