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self-opinioned adj. Drunk in a way that collapses the usual distance between forming a view and delivering it at volume to a table of near-strangers. self-ordinationed adj. Drunk to a degree that you have appointed yourself to office and cannot properly ascend to it. self-organizationed adj. Drunk to the extent of rearranging your limbs into a more complicated system without outside guidance. self-organizing mapped adj. Drunk by closing time, and compressing a complicated room into a simple map that misplaces the stairs. self-owned adj. Still drunk, and embarrassing yourself so efficiently that nobody else needs to intervene. self-pardonned adj. Too drunk to wait for forgiveness, and therefore granting it to yourself between two attempts at standing. self-parkinged adj. You have drunk enough to let the nearest wall complete your arrival while your companions negotiate the damage. self-partialitied adj. Having drunk enough to rate your own coordination above everybody else's, despite the evidence on the stairs. self-perpetuationed adj. Having drunk more than enough to continue the same stumble indefinitely, without any outside assistance. self-pitied adj. You are drunk and treating every failed step as evidence of personal betrayal. Naziyah was self-pitied, consoling herself after the staircase refused another careful attempt. self-plagiarismed adj. Of a drinker: repeating the same sentence, gesture and misstep without acknowledging earlier performances. Genoria was self-plagiarismed, telling the same story twice with identical pauses and errors. self-played adj. Describing a drinker who repeatedly competes with himself and loses to the same manoeuvre. Udell was self-played, losing repeatedly to the same manoeuvre near the cloakroom. self-pleasinged adj. A drinker who has mistaken private satisfaction for a reasonable use of the evening. self-pleasured adj. A drinker so far gone that private gratification has become the evening's most coherent objective. self-pleasurered adj. The state of being drunk and behaving as though solitary gratification were a recognised public function. Jovian became self-pleasurered, presenting solitary gratification as though it were a civic service. self-pollinationed adj. The condition of a drinker who transfers every thought back into himself, producing no useful cross-fertilisation.