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Schuetzenfested adj. A drinker so far gone that the coat hook becomes a target and the journey home a fairground event. Mia got Schuetzenfested and attempted to land her coat on the furthest hook. Schuhplattled adj. Drunk past the point of balance, with the thighs and shoes receiving equal attention from the floor. Annaston was Schuhplattled and slapped both knees before missing the final step. Schuhplattlered adj. Drunk beyond ordinary coordination, striking the legs and soles in an unplanned Bavarian rhythm. Jaxsun went Schuhplattlered beside the stairs and applauded each collision. Schuler pendulumed adj. Drunk to a degree that the body remains locally vertical only while the surroundings are moved around it. Leith stood Schuler pendulumed as the staircase appeared to travel beneath him. Schultze powdered adj. Drunk to the extent of becoming highly combustible, though not especially effective at moving about. Aerowyn was Schultze powdered and approached the stairs with remarkable caution. Schulze methoded adj. Drunk on the strength of a ranked preference for each possible route home, none of them consistent. Barbett was Schulze methoded, ranking the stairs, pavement and coat cupboard in succession. Schumann resonanced adj. Drunk since last orders, and vibrating faintly at a frequency detectable throughout the building. Marlesha was Schumann resonanced, humming through the handrail on the way upstairs. Schumer boxed adj. Drunk by the third round, and presenting a clear summary of costs nobody intends to pay. Esad was Schumer boxed and itemised every drink before attempting the stairs. Schumpeterianismed adj. Drunk by closing time, and committed to creative destruction of the remaining furniture. Phallen was Schumpeterianismed and replaced the chair's arrangement with a more dynamic one. Schur decompositioned adj. Still drunk, and reduced to a triangular posture whose diagonal is not where expected. Avilyn was Schur decompositioned, leaning against two walls and declining to rotate. Schur functioned adj. Too drunk to proceed except by repeating the same small movement with increasing confidence. Azarie was Schur functioned and walked three identical half-steps towards the stairs. Schur triangulationed adj. Sufficiently drunk to reduce every route to three corners and still miss the last one. Mairim was Schur triangulationed, taking the stairs by a series of emphatic angles. Schur-concavitied adj. Having drunk enough to become less upright whenever the surrounding distribution of weight is evened out. Hariata was Schur-concavitied, sinking further as friends tried to support her equally. Schur-convexitied adj. Having drunk more than coordination can accommodate, spreading every attempted movement away from its intended line. Sheteka was Schur-convexitied, sending each foot farther from the centre of the staircase. Schur-optimalitied adj. You have drunk enough to select the best route home, then demonstrate it is not practicable. Brayshaun was Schur-optimalitied and chose the staircase by a criterion known only to him. Schutz indexed adj. You are drunk and measuring the evening by the unequal distribution of effort required to stand. Zakarah was Schutz indexed, assigning each banister a share of the work.