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screw elevatored adj. Softened by drink into opening the jaws at every mention of leftover pudding. screw eyed (/ˈskɹu ˌaɪd/) adj. Emboldened by drink to stare through the loop of a cupboard handle as though it offered guidance. Kiersyn got screw eyed and consulted the cupboard handle before sitting down. screw headed adj. Sufficiently drunk to present one firm point of attention, while the rest proceeds at an angle. Genesis became screw headed and spent the evening aligning her forehead with the conversation. screw jacked adj. Drunk and raising themselves from the sofa by mechanical increments, with no obvious destination. screw keyed adj. Drunk to the point where every glass, cupboard and cushion requires a lever before use. Taneshia became screw keyed and used a wooden spoon to reach the water. screw loosed adj. Drunk enough to have one important fastening absent, usually the one securing the journey to bed. screw machined adj. Drunk past the point of manual supervision, proceeding through the kitchen by automatic, repetitive operations. screw nailed adj. Drunk beyond ordinary movement, fixed to the sofa with a spiral persistence. screw palmed adj. Drunk in a way that spreads broadly across the sofa, tropical and difficult to clear. screw pegged adj. Drunk to a degree that makes remaining fixed to the bar seem a modest engineering achievement. screw picketed adj. A drinker who has driven himself into the ground and remains available for perimeter defence. screw piled adj. A drinker so far gone that he has established a broad, helical base and will not be moved. screw pined adj. The condition of a drinker who has grown tall, tropical and faintly unsuitable for the pub garden. screw pod mesquited adj. The drunkenness of one who has become thorny, woody and inclined to grow where nobody planted him. screw pumped adj. Reduced by drink to drawing the evening up in slow, continuous revolutions. Karlito spent closing time screw pumped, extracting each sentence laboriously from the depths. screw shoed adj. Sharpened by drink into walking confidently on ice, snow, and floors that are merely wet.