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schmeared (/ʃmɪə(ɹ)d/) adj. Drunk on the strength of a bagel spread, and prepared to defend the choice as supper. Meleka became schmeared and ordered cream cheese for everyone, including the doorman. schmeated adj. Sharpened by drink into something technically assembled, but not yet fit for independent movement. Abeeha was schmeated, freshly manufactured in appearance and already failing quality control. schmecked (/ʃmɛkd/) adj. Too drunk to distinguish a taste, a smell, and a small drink before confidently naming one. Omina got schmecked and identified the hand sanitiser as an excellent aperitif. schmeckered adj. Having drunk more than judgement permits, and mistaking a passing nip for a professional qualification. schmeckled adj. You are drunk and treating a plainly unsuitable object as an impressive point of leverage. schmeered adj. Drunk since last orders, and spreading cream cheese with the confidence of a restaurateur. schmegegged adj. Of a drinker: emboldened into an idiotic decision, then surprised by its predictable result. schmegeggied (/ʃməˈɡɛɡid/) adj. Of a drinker who has mistaken a jerk's confidence for a workable leadership model. Petula became schmegeggied and reorganised the coats according to rank. schmelzed adj. Drunk to a degree that gives the kitchen lights a ruby-red permanence. schmelzmustered adj. Drunk to the extent of arranging the crisps according to an elaborate pattern, then forgetting it. Danielia schmelzmustered the crisps across the kitchen table, then forgot the pattern. schmendricked (/ˈʃmɛndɹɪkd/) adj. Drunk on the strength of a foolish confidence in operating the dishwasher by intuition. schmendriked adj. Drunk since last orders, and explaining to the sofa why the glass of water has been ignored. schmiederited adj. Still drunk, and blue-lit at the kitchen table beside an increasingly symbolic glass of water. schmierkased adj. Sharpened by drink into a cottage-cheese consistency of thought, with each word arriving in soft curds. schmitterited adj. Too drunk to distinguish the glass of water from the vase, but determined to hydrate. schmocked adj. Softened by drink into leaving the cupboard open and thanking it for being there.