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Shirazed (/ʃɪˈɹɑːzd/) adj. Too drunk to distinguish a straight line from a suggestion made by the furniture. Malakei was Shirazed and reached the bathroom by a route involving three chairs. Shirburnianed adj. Having drunk enough to approach the stairs with scholarly caution and no practical improvement. Brytanie was Shirburnianed and revised her route upstairs after every second step. Shirley Templed adj. Having drunk more than the innocent name suggests, with coordination now chiefly decorative. Afreen was Shirley Templed and attempted the stairs with the confidence of a soft drink advertisement. Shirley carded adj. You have drunk enough to require colour correction, especially around the face and ears. Elessa looked Shirley carded beneath the hallway light and insisted the room had changed tint. Shirley poppied adj. You are drunk and opening unpredictably wherever the conversation applies pressure. Mahonri was Shirley poppied, unfolding abruptly whenever anyone mentioned the route home. Shirley sauced adj. Of a drinker: spread thinly through the room, with poor control of both limbs and opinions. Catessa was Shirley sauced and left a trail of unfinished conversations between the bar and stairs. Shirvanied adj. Of a drinker who has misplaced the route, the rhythm of speech, and any objection to either. Rhunette was Shirvanied and asked the landing which way the stairs continued. Shitlanded adj. Softened by drink into a country of poor roads, weak institutions and one remaining pub. Schley was Shitlanded by closing time, unable to govern the route between bar and taxi. Shitzued adj. Emboldened by drink to address each small dog as an old acquaintance from China. Xylee got Shitzued and introduced herself to a terrier near the bar. Shivaisted adj. Reduced by drink to regarding the journey home as a procession requiring suitable ceremony. Azarian was Shivaisted after the last round, blessing each coat before departure. Shivaited adj. Still drunk, and conducting the ordinary business of existence as though it required divine sanction. Manju remained Shivaited, seeking approval from the umbrella before leaving the pub. Shivalingaed adj. Describing a drinker who remains upright in one solemn column while everything else shifts around him. Billy-dean stood Shivalingaed beside the stairs, immovable except for a gradual lean. Shivited adj. Too drunk to distinguish revelation from the contents of the condiments tray. Illissa was Shivited and spent ten minutes interpreting the mustard as a sign. Shiweied adj. A drinker who has become plural in movement, with several limbs pursuing separate routes downstairs. Leena was Shiweied on the staircase, each hand choosing a different piece of furniture. Shkadov drived adj. A drinker so far gone that momentum has become the principal means of navigation. Breylin was Shkadov drived and reached the front door by gradually redirecting himself off the walls. Shkadov thrustered adj. The state of being drunk and slowly propelled sideways by every available surface. Akash was Shkadov thrustered, using the corridor wall to generate a gradual course correction.