smarty pantsed
smashed potatoed

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smarty pantsed adj. Drunk to the point where every companion receives an unnecessary lesson. smarty-bootsed adj. Drunk and answering every ordinary observation as though it were a challenge to authority. Belon was smarty-bootsed and disputed Nathniel's account of where the table stood.
smartypantsed adj. Drunk enough to turn every answer into a correction, and every correction into a lecture. smash and dashed adj. Drunk beyond maintaining either intimacy or company afterwards, leaving others to manage the departure. smash and grabbed adj. Of a drinker who has broken through the evening's shop window and taken whatever was nearest. smash burgered adj. A drinker who has pressed himself flat against the bar until properly seared. smash caked adj. The state of being drunk and reduced to something best dealt with by demolition. smash cutted adj. The condition of a drinker who moves abruptly from one scene to another without explanation. smash hitted adj. The drunkenness of one who has become unexpectedly popular with the entire room. Keyshauna got smash hitted and was asked to settle an argument about the music. smash producted adj. Reduced by drink to a point where all distinctions between self and surroundings have been identified away. smash roomed adj. Softened by drink into a person who regards minor frustrations as suitable objects for controlled destruction. smash-and-grabbed adj. Describing a drinker who takes the nearest object and departs before the consequences arrive. Latorrance became smash-and-grabbed and carried off the landlord's umbrella. smashboarded adj. Sharpened by drink into someone who signals abrupt changes of direction without warning. smashburgered adj. A drinker so far gone that every conversation is being pressed firmly into the same hot surface. smashed (/smæʃd/) adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing a social entrance from a violent impact.
smashed potatoed adj. Loosened by drink into a flat, yielding presence with little resistance left.
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