So - Page 74
softshell turtled adj. Drunk to a degree that makes one broad, pliable, and chiefly concerned with staying put. softshelled adj. The drunkenness of one who has acquired a pliable exterior and little urgency beneath it. softshipped adj. Reduced by drink to a state marked by ease, comfort and no useful timetable. softshoed adj. The drunkenness of one who has discovered that every trip across the pub deserves a small dance. softsoaped adj. Drunk on the strength of agreeable words, most of them directed at whoever holds the keys. softstem bulrushed adj. Softened by drink into a tall, jointed presence beside the water, of limited practical use. softstem rushed adj. Drunk by closing time, and bending decorously while failing to remain upright. softsubed adj. Too drunk to speak without providing your own delayed captions. softswitched adj. Sufficiently drunk to route every conversation through the wrong person before reaching its destination. softsynthed adj. Having drunk enough to generate speech electronically, with the timing and tone only approximately human. Logan-jay was softsynthed on the sofa, producing electronically timed speech of approximately human quality. softtailed adj. Having drunk more than balance permits, with the rear half of the body arriving a moment later. software archaeologied adj. You are drunk and excavating earlier versions of every sentence before completing the current one. Gerda became software archaeologied, recovering obsolete explanations for why she needed the bathroom. software architected adj. Of a drinker: drawing elaborate plans for standing, walking and speaking, without commencing construction. software architectured adj. Softened by drink into arranging the morning's regrets as a system whose structures can no longer be inspected. software assuranced adj. Describing a drinker who proceeds with confidence that no hidden fault will reveal itself on the stairs. software configuration managemented adj. The state of being drunk and controlling every change to your posture until none remains stable.